Since January, that with the new year, I feel much more better. I have finally started to read. And now and again I write a few lines. When I read through the last posts, it's a never-ending coming and going, simply because there is no line, no common thread in there. Since I can pretty well recognize the constant rotation of my thoughts and feelings. I hope that I can now bring back more quality. Sometimes I have thought about me, I'll just write times belletristic. But I am from my heart to even critical, in terms of my creativity. I have always, in every way, put my light under a bushel.
But in my increasing satisfaction, I must say that I'm getting myself can accept the way I now even in principle am. And I realize the more I get used to my self, the more balanced I would, without that I have changed my nature at all. I'm still a potentially explosive type, I can get upset about little things remain just as in the old year. But now receding from this phase after five minutes, I can also remember phases in which I have been so long agitated that I was away from a nervous breakdown, only a few moments.
My last depression I had in mid-November, she held the fortnight. A permanent state of absolute discontent, and vulnerability and loneliness. Until Christmas I was more bad than good and kept upright after all the ceremonies I am again fallen into a very dull phase. But now it's different, I am no longer dull, the sun is shining, the winter is definitely gone for a few days, spring has sent his forerunners. It drives me to be out there, last Thursday I made my first little bike, easy to get in again.
All this activity, I got quite a lot since mid-February, is unlikely based. On Wednesday evening I had for two minutes, a very bad phase, I began sitting on the bed and fell quickly into total self-pity, crying about my so humble position without a wife and child. I I just phoned my son and just as fast as I had fallen into this negative state of mind, as soon I felt good again. I am absolutely motivated for the upcoming year and the challenges that will come to me or who I will face. I'm fine, I was in the last two years is not often said of me. I have drunk too much alcohol and thus still introduce additional high pushed my Agressionspotential. This phase is now, fortunately, since summer is over, I drink a beer in the week, when I am invited to dinner, otherwise I'm satisfied with my abstinence.
The signs are finally good again, I can probably slow more favorable prognosis for the near future make. It is also time to get out of this continuous negative suction.
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