Now I work for four weeks, was in that period, and I am sick on Friday and today also have been at work. But precisely for that reason I wanted a job action and not a work on the first labor market test of time and pressure and all the other nagging. I want to just do not rip open your ass for nothing, and as such a 1-Euro-Job is the right one. But I have a halfway interesting thing to work, I build PCs together, which I've always done it like at home. One can therefore make worse. I can learn something and it's meaning in this work because I can not complain.
However, I have to struggle to go forever, because sometimes I wake up so bad on and I feel that everything is too late. On Friday, I'm with such a terrible depression woke up, I sat there and could not even call in the work that is not naturally good, but I have nunmal depression and to know that and I break anything on the knee. If I can not, then I can not. Only if I take that out, I will be in my interests perceived to be depressed. Otherwise, I am again just a hypochondriac. Today I still managed to clock at 11.00 to call. We'll see tomorrow I'm going down again. Let's see what's going on tomorrow morning, but great idea, I am not me. Rather, I am angry about I let me down so much that I am today did not go. It would have gone anyway, but I've really let me go today. Tomorrow will again be addressed in any case.
If I will be so by hanging, then I see no point in working, which only makes no sense at all anymore, or rather, I can do with all this, then nothing. What interests me in a depressed push for a job or friends or commitments. As it is follows saudreckig me think that I just me and my pain can, quite selfish, and encapsulated. But I'm always myself out of there again, it lasts even longer, sometimes it goes faster. I think tomorrow I'm back to normal for some time.
In any case, in my life changed a lot, if I want to become satisfied. I wonder if I'll ever here in Germany, I wonder anyway. It would probably feel better already in Austria, Zell am See a lot. It is simply a todtraurige and boring atmosphere here in Germany, it just pulls me down just when I am in the subway, the dead people see, none of them laughs. So much frustration and discontent in one place I have not seen in countries where the people much worse off. It's sad, Germany loses height as needed and no one can be proud of it. In the long term, I'll have to get out of here and the only opportunity that I see right now is my heritage, because I have nothing to do with my 45 years and I come in the next ten, fifteen years for nothing, because I have no illusions. But poor in Germany, I shall not die, then I'd rather die poor in Asia. There, take care on the end a self-sacrificing man for me, not an droves nurse who is underpaid and overstressed.
In any case, I've found that my work is doing well and that I am able, in general, continuously pursuing the work, if not prevent me great depression of it. But this is now my problem, otherwise I'm definitely not too lazy or too comfortable to pursue a job. The more I would be charged, the better it would be a boring job is a nightmare for me, I am not a government or civil service type. I'm looking forward to what in my life is still so, so right now I have no career prospects, but that's not the most important.
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